Control, homesickness and acceptance...otherwise known as an average day

This week has been a strange tangled up week.
I was accepted to the Grad school I wanted to go to, without funding. I also realized, I need to find a place to live, before August.
Interviewing potential roommates, and checking over places online has reaped interesting results.
Yesterday, after having an awful class, a wave of homesickness hit me, maybe accompanied by stress and a lack of sleep. A strong wave, that sent me to sit in the Tanairnői WC and quietly weep. However I didn't do a good enough job of faking the bright smile that I usually have on, and when questioned in the Tanarszoba what was wrong, I broke down again. Now I am embarrassed.
The CONTROL, whenever the other teachers say it, you can hear the capital letters.
Today Schwester Ester and the posse came. They descended on our school like ravens at a feast. Everything has been perfected, and all t's are being crosses, all i's dotted. There was even a tablecloth at lunch. We got the observation schedule yesterday. My name was on it, in fact the second lesson on the first day. Today.
I was lucky in retrospect. Both of the Máriakas gave suggestions, and Zsóka sat with me the afternoon before and made sure I was ready. Because it is a lesson I share, Frigyes had a lesson plan already typed-well the one with the subjects, I plan my own lessons. Albeit it had Raji's name and not mine on it.
When the time came, everything went well. The students acted like angels for once. There was no food, and thus no begging to be allowed to eat. There were no cell phones and no MP3 players. They worked, asked questions and behaved. Even the after interview was good. It was heaven.
I wish we always had control.