On Introspection and the Trains

Sunday is train day.

We sit, crammed into the overheated and sometimes clean metal tubes, which cut paths throughout the nation, on our way home from a weekend packed full of togetherness. Bleary-eyed from the lack of sleep and sometimes queasy from the incessant rocking, the train can be a great inspiration for introspection.

I know that introspection is not very interesting for others to read, but as my time shortens my brain is frantically trying to discover what I have achieved over the last 5 months. Have I changed? Have I helped someone? Was it worth it?
This weekend was an eye-opener. I embarrassed myself in front of 20 of my CETP colleagues and their friends. I wish I had not done that.
I was asked by a friend of a friend "Do you see your time in Hungary as real life, or as a buffer?" This question keeps playing over in my head. I wonder what is "real life". How is it defined? Is it when you are working the daily grind and working towards set goals, or is it a string of a million moments all connected by a tangled web of our actions? I don't know, but I think that I will spend a lifetime trying to find out.
This was also a strange weekend, because I met many of the CETP people, who I had heard stories about. At the end of the weekend no phone numbers were exchanged, and no half formed plans were made, it was a familiarly terse "Good luck with your life, It was nice to have met you" and we stepped out of one another's stories.



This is a somewhat depressing post, so I will finish with another not to Clare of 3BT :

Being linked by Clare of 3BT. Her site has reminded me to appreciate the little things.
A friend defending you against gossip.
Receiving Boxes of Chocolates from students on Teacher-day.
A message from a friend you haven't heard from in a while.
Mail with Moose stickers in it.
The school getting re-plastered and painted, so it already looks nicer than when I came.
Having someone like the ATC that you were not sure about.